There’s knowing what you want and hoping that you can have it.
Then, there’s knowing what you want and knowing that you probably can’t get it.
There is also knowing what you don’t want and not getting it; or knowing what you don’t want and having it anyway.
Then, the worst; not knowing what you want, so not knowing whether you are getting it or not.
How do you figure it out? How do you decide what is best for you when that changes about every five minutes?
Each of the other scenarios comes with options for forward momentum; Go for it. Get rid of it. Move on.
But when you don’t know what you want, you don’t know whether to grab for it or shake it off, so you stagnate.
You wait for a sign, something that will help you decide if you should be sad or relieved, something that will clarify if you should turn left or right, something that answers the question:
“If this isn’t working for me, then what will?”
Because answering that question with “I don’t have a fucking clue” is torture.
That much I do know.