I took it off the other day.
No easy task since it was practically welded onto my ring finger.
After he left, my wedding ring remained on my finger for a little bit, (until I could find a replacement). I didn’t want my bare, white, bald spot to be a constant, visible reminder to me or the kids that our lives were falling apart.
Then one day he came by the house to get something and yelled at me for still wearing it. Like he was still in a position to tell me what to do…
So I went to a gal, K, with a stone that I already had, and asked her to make me the ring. We figured out a design, an inscription, and fitted it to my wedding ring finger.
Anyway, the ring is gorgeous – just what I wanted and it gave me such a boost of much-needed strength.
But not that big of a boost; that was back in the days when I was still trying hard to appease the guy and so I told him that my mother had bought me the ring.
I have worn that ring proudly for the last two years, a reminder that yes, I have moved on, I don’t need a man to wear a ring on that finger, and that my life is better and more beautiful without the damn wedding band.
But now it’s time to take it off. I removed it recently for something and have decided not to put it on again. After two years, I have decided that I no longer want The Divorce to define my life.
And I can’t seem to get away from him and his bullshit, but I can at least try to compartmentalize it and have it only be an aspect of my life, not my life.
And one step towards that is getting rid of anything that clearly states, yes I was once married, once had a life with someone else.
House is gone. Subaru is gone. Wedding gifts – gone (at least the ones I never really liked). Sheets we slept on are gone. Jewelry he gave me is gone. Wedding dress is gone, gone, gone.
So, now too, the ring is gone.
Not literally, it’s too beautiful to toss, but figuratively.
And it feels great to no longer feel that I need a “divorce ring”. I am going to get myself just a “ring”. One that I am really excited about and love and is only about me.
K, I will be in touch.
I was going to snap a photo of The Divorce Ring and include it here, but apparently my camera battery is “exhausted”. I am too, but that doesn’t mean that I get to stop working.